We've all been there.
Our kiddo wants a drink, so we fill up the blue cup and hand it to her.
But, she loses it and falls to the floor, crying because she wanted the red cup.
Or our kiddo asks for a snack, so we give him one, but it is the 'wrong' one. So we offer another. Also wrong. Soon there are tears and a collapse to the floor.
Or maybe it is the wrong shirt.
Or the block that fell.
Or a sibling that looked at her wrong.
Or maybe the DVD wouldn't play (I'm dating myself here! 😆 Maybe the movie is buffering or the internet is out, and the movie won't play at all).
It doesn't matter what that thing is that caused the kiddo to lose it because...
it
isn't
about
that
thing.
It's that sometimes our kiddos need a release.
Aletha Solter calls it the broken cookie phenomenon - a child bursting in to tears when her cookie breaks. Those tears are not because of the cookie but because of a build up of big feelings and a need to offload those big feelings.
Tensions build up over time, and children need to release those tensions.
Makes sense.
Kids are so new to this world; they are just trying to figure things out -
how to communicate,
how to get places,
how to regulate all these sensory messages,
what things mean, etc.
Plus, they have so little control over their lives -
they are told when to wake up,
when to go to bed,
when to bathe,
when and what to eat,
what to wear,
where to go, etc.
All these things (and more!) lead to a build up of feelings - frustration, sadness, anger, etc.
And crying is one way kiddos can offload the tension that builds up due to those big feelings.
So, sometimes seemingly little things cause kiddos to lose it,
to release that tension through big cries.
If we can stay lovingly present, we can help them with this release.
And then, following the big cry, our kiddos return to being okay again.
And they learn that they are loved, their whole selves, hard feelings and all.
And that's how God loves us, isn't it?
When I am at my wit’s end and fall apart, the Lord doesn’t abandon me
or punish me
or scold me.
No.
He is there with me as I offload (even if my offloading is anger directed at Him).
He patiently waits for me to be ready to lean on Him and to allow Him to comfort me.
He shows me what it is to be a parent when a child is having a hard time.
His mercy shows us that He loves our whole selves - the pretty parts and the broken parts.
What a gift to be able to show our kiddos mercy, too!
May Christ's Peace be with you.
💕🙏💕