The Scenario: I was very preoccupied earlier in the day. I was internally dealing with some stressors and having a hard time actively listening to my boys. My oldest started talking about a YouTube video he found very interesting. I was not interested and was not faking interest all that well.
Pre-peaceful parenting, this might have been an issue....
Then (pre-peaceful parenting):
My oldest feels most loved when he is heard.
Pre-peaceful parenting, he would act out if he felt unheard,
so my not-really-listening probably would have played out with my teen either…
back-talking,
closing himself off in his room,
or ignoring my requests.
Any one of those things would have…
added to my stress,
increased my irritability,
and led me to think negative things about my boy (that he was selfish, bratty, or a ‘rotten teenager’).
But none of that happened. Instead....
Now (7 years into this peaceful parenting journey): After talking, my 16 yo said, “What’s wrong? You seem tired.”
I admitted to my tiredness and added that I felt stressed. He sincerely asked, “What are you stressed about?”
I explained, and he empathized.
Genuine empathy.
I made a point to thank him later for picking up on the fact that I was not okay and for asking me about it.
He was proud of himself for having picked up on subtle cues.
Me?
I’m thankful that I changed my parenting style 7 years ago and that my teen doesn’t take my moods personally.
And I’m grateful that he has the emotional intelligence to catch that I was off and the compassion to inquire and empathize.
——————
2024 reflection…
We reap what we sow.
“And let us not grow weary in well-doing, for in due season we shall reap, if we do not lose heart.” - Galatians 6:9
Transitioning to peaceful parenting was tough at times.
It took diligence, self-reflection, consistency, and a lot of faith.
But God is good.
And the journey worth it.
May Christ’s Peace be with you.
💕🙏💕
[I came to peaceful parenting a bit later in my parenting journey (when my boys were about 9 and 5), so I sometimes like to share scenarios and compare how I used to handle things to how I handle things now that I’ve discovered peaceful parenting. The above scenario was from 2019, about 7 years or so into our peaceful parenting journey.]