How blessed we are to live at a time when we have parenting tools that address the heart of the child rather than just reacting to behaviors!
The parents in the time of the Old Testament had such limited tools for raising children.
Praise God that He gave us His only Son,
Who showed us what it meant to have disciples,
Who showed us how to reach people’s hearts,
and Who showed us the value of children!
Praise God that He showed me that there was a better way to raise my kids than I was doing for the the first 9 years of parenthood!
Things were different in ancient times,
and there are examples in scripture that people will cite to justify corporal punishment.
God gave allowance for corporal punishment in ancient times,
as He gave allowance for slavery and indentured servitude as well as divorce.
God allowing these things does not mean they were His perfect will.
It means that we are a broken people with hardened hearts.
God allowed these things because He can write straight with crooked lines (to borrow a phrase from Fr. Mike Schmitz)
Just as we no longer use slavery or indentured servitude to get work done,
we do not need to use the parenting tools of ancient times to guide and help our children become who God created them to be.
Jesus introduced new tools for guiding and teaching!
And Jesus repeatedly spoke of the value of children!
So, yes,
we are asked to guide and help our children grow to be virtuous, God-centered adults,
but we don’t need to use the same tools for discipline/teaching that were used in ancient times.
Jesus has shown us a different way!
Praise God!
So, how did Jesus guide and teach?
He compassionately connected with people first -
he would feed them,
heal them,
meet their needs.
Then He would teach and help them live His way.
His focus was on their hearts,
His relationship with them.
He connected first.
Always.
We can follow Christ’s example in our parenting.
In John 21, Jesus refers to his disciples as children.
This whole exchange demonstrates how He interacts with His children -
He connects and cares for them first,
and then he instructs.
With Peter, He doesn’t punish him for the denials,
He doesn’t shame him.
He gives him the opportunity to make amends with grace and compassion.
We can strive to be that way with our own children.
Just as Jesus did with His disciples and does with us today,
we can nurture our children
(who are actually God’s children,
whom He’s entrusted to us).
We can nurture them in a way that is relationship-based from the heart,
through direction that begins with connection.
We can connect and address the heart of our children when they are having a hard time.
We can help them when they have problems just as Jesus helped the people he encountered when he walked the earth;
just as Jesus helps us now.
To be God’s instruments in the lives of our children, we must treat our children as Christ treated His followers and as our dear Lord treats us.
We must be relationship-focused.
We must address the heart rather than react to behavior.
We must connect.
We must lead with love.
May Christ’s Peace be with you.
💕🙏💕
